I dont like babys...

I cant stand them...i dunno if its because they cry a lot or what but i kinda suspect that it has to do with parents imposing them on us...it can also be because i am a bit jealous of not having none yet, although,mind you, i am absolutely not ready for any...the thing is that i am an unimposing person and really dislike the fact that i go to the supermarket and they are being pushed on their buggies and crying and the space that them buggies take is frustrating...i mean...you cant move on the supermarket because the stupid car is blocking your way,their occupiers at 180 decibels,you try to walk up the street and you got go to the road because they're blocking the pedestrian walk, they scream and vomit in public transportation and the parents think its ok because everybody loves their cutie pie...they're all over the place and again parents think they are entitled to impose they offspring on us because everybody has or will have one...so what?What if i am infertile??What if i don't wanna have them?
Yeah...i suspect that with all this rant i realize one thing...its not babies that i dislike...its their parents...
I mean...Who could not LOVE THIS PERFECT TREASURE???
I don't like parents...at least whilst i'm on this side!!!

We're all going in the yellow submarine...

Sometimes you kinda forget that you are in grey old London...
As vezes, Londrs nao e tao cinzenta assim...

Lusting for love?me?well, i never...

TALK ABOUT BEING PRAGMATIC

And another thing...

They no longer behind a curtain...and still they put them on glass...i would be crossed

Its the end of the world as we know it...

This is getting ridiculous...i mean...wherever you go you cannot light up,not even to the end of the world...and i am not sure how does the intergalactic police sees the smokers!
Nao se fuma, nem no fim do mundo

Sao rosas, meu senhor...

Two days off...just got home, got my bath,got my shot and TWO days off...maybe i'll go to the zoo, to the park, to the movies, to the Tate, to Camden,to anywhere even Paris...it is just 2 hours by train...i'll nip there for lunch and be back home for dinner...then again...i might just sleep for two days...i dunno...
Its all roses...now, if i could only get the girl(but she's so far away).

London Fashion Week

They come on all shapes and sizes...
But throw me innocence and joy and tell me that this is not a day to celebrate humanity...They fond the girl Shannon...it dampen my eyes...and you start the morning on a train like this...Oh men...i love westbound piccadily line (sometimes)!
Most of all...you GOT TO LOVE THE INNOCENCE AND FASHION CONSCIENCE OF JAPANESE PEOPLE
Fazes melhor Fatima Lopes?

Her Majesty,the Queen,went to Heatrow today...

Time to polish the silverware then,right?
Tanks mate, i really needed a hand today...
Limpa a prata Margarida,limpa a prata...

Will somebody give Banksy my adress!!??!!

OK...so it was £50000 for a brazilian rock...
And you know what?People sit on it...
And it is a different kind of pebble...
But it is gorgeous...and when you walking into a somber place you might as well have something that distracts you...i, for once, think is great
Now,if i could only have Banksy coming over to my flat...
Palerma...calhaus ha muitos,palerma!

Came May...Cast your vote...just dont Labour about it

I am tired of supporting a party, that for a peoples party indoctrinates a policy of protecting minorities without realizing that that protection makes them all too vulnerable.
Being a big brother state leaves no margin of error to no one...it has to be as perceived by some disconnected people.I am not saying that it hasn't do a lot...but much more has to be done and this party stagnates on his own 10 years of "glory".By all means,protect the little man (Tory just would do and them days are counted) but by doing so do not harm the ones that do want to be productive...Do i ask a lot?did i?Former drug addict and alchoolic and still always a working member of society...I did rebelled against the "man".My fights were with everyone and i was a sophist of sorts...Still, not just my upbringing but also my inner values gave me the sense of justice in this world...Its my habit (was) i should be able to afford it...i will not sponge off of anybody...
I believe a person is a person regardless of gender, religion and sexual orientation...so do not ask for more than you are willing to give.I haven't...people disliked me,distrusted me but i always gave 100% on everything...not because of them...because i was proud enought to believe that one day this world will be for all...and not just for a few rich ones...or some poor sob that things his is the worst existence in the world...because his black, because hes gay, because shes a woman...Lord have mercy on the poor, black ugly lesbian...
Let me try the Lib.Dem.
Otherwise i'll just pack up and look for another farsical country

ANOTHER STEP UP...ALMOST THERE

It will always be hill and montains for me, wont it Lord?
Thy will be done...
Nunca chao, so colinas!Mas eu sigo nos Vossos passos Senhor!

Shinning happy people

Slowly but surely spring awakens in north London...
A primavera acorda no norte de Londres

Fortune teller?I'll live trough another Haley's...

Dazzle me, trick me, take my rings but leave just enough to restore my faith in the miracle of being...
Podes ficar com a casa, com o carro, com as joias...mas nao fiques com a alegria de viver

READ THEM AND WEEP

I was told that i rant about all and nothing over here...that mine was a difficult english to read and even understand!I guess...i dunno!To me it makes perfect sense...that was the purpose of doing this blog...write my experiences and what i tough about them, how did they made me feel!True that i might chose some words that not all people would commonly use but i find it absolutely boring to be using the same word on a sentence (synonymous...!!!).
Fact is that this is as i firstly describe it , a place where i can write whatever the hell i want...i am not writing a piece of journalistic interest...My hope is that i can have sharing experiences with people, that when they read this they can say:2 i can relate to that...let me share my stuff with this guy"!
Still...well one can only hope...till then i'll keep on writing and you keep on criticizing...eventually join in.AND IF YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND IT...

The last one to leave,please turn off the light...

In incandescent sight,you procure understanding of existence.The essence of life eludes you constantly and still you seek...You guard your knowledge fearsomely and you question every aspect of what is put onto your way.You live with the residence of God in you and you feel empty by the lack of emphatic souls...you know they re out there but most cant grasp the concept of eternity...they don't even know whether they coming or going...still the light shines and blinds you and you know you have got to compromise in order to break solitude.It ain't nice anymore...
Sometimes you do have to compromise.
WILL I,THOUGH???
Tou a pensar em arrancar a 125 azul!
OU SERA MELHOR NAO O FAZER?E entrar em compromisso?

FRANKLY MY DEAR, I DON'T GIVE A DAMN...

I would like to know why is it that if you are of a different race, gender or personal choice of the majority you immediately find yourself with an handicap and thus a victim of society?Whats more , why is it that that majority ends up believing such bull?I mean...i had this person that pointed out the fact that she was(is) a woman and as such she should be treated differently...and they believe so...i had this one that decided that i am homophobic and even another that told me that i was surely a racist because i was demanding to much of him...Now...you might think that a person with such an aggressive nature as mine and a perfectionist at what ever i do (if at least to hide my physical faults) is probably all of the above, but i would beg to differ...what i am is a person that believes in equal opportunities and believe that there should be nothing that prevents people celebrating that equality...undoubtedly "liberte,equalite et fraternite".
I cant stand those people that demand equality and then demand to be treated differently because theyres is not the conventional way...
There should not be a place for self-discrimination these days...and the more fools we are to allow that to happen.
Enforce diversity and force equality!Dont expect political correctness
Querem igualdade?Exigam-na e enforcem-na

on a entirely different subject...

Narcissistic?why?
You know you want me!!

ONCE UPON A TIME

Shall we dance then princess?
Shall we make do with the distance that pushes us apart and someday in a near future go and say:"it has only made us stronger!"?
Shall we forget that the night is upon us and indeed the light will guides us to a better place?
Or shall we just pretend that really...nothing ever happened, and dream a long sleep again?
I wouldn't like that, would you?
Afinal, que Senso faz a vida sem A ter?

Rotten to the core

Procuring perfection on ones own attitude towards life is hard enough.
Where do you go when you try to instill mannerism onto people?
I saw this piece on the newspaper today...This lady was tanking this other person on the whatever bus number in our capital, for not telling, on the phone, what had happen to his finger that was grossly mutilated;and then you wonder...there are still other people like that out there...
I can we not be more?It ethics, mannerism,its life with society...its not blending in...i standing proud to be different...different on your core values...it is not being continental, ethnic ,gay...is about the way you live your life and let others live...
But there is always a rotten apple...
Nows a days, you wonder were the good apple is on this basket full of worms???
Lets just wait for another 7 days...it does say so on the label
E comer o pao que o diabo amanc,ou

Beat that joy...

A cold night just got warm...football IS one of the things that give joy to people...we can share the glory of winning and we use it as our own.That's what makes it all worth it!
You became a winner just because you are a ARSENAL SUPPORTER

Go on you goonners

No matter how philosophically you see life...
Arsenal's playing to win tonight
Go on you goonners

Nao ta chovendo mais dinheiro

We are all in for a helluva year...

There is no changing whats connected

Its late night, you close your eyes and wish about dreaming...the weight of your eyes becomes unbearable and the flash on your brain makes you know that you are about to enter another dimension...you can only wish the rest...and still the same dreams,granted, with nuances but still the same dream...It has been 9 years and still that dream persists!There is no changing whats connected!
You get stressed,you are worried and on those nights the recurrence of thoughts is all but the same;and then you are taken to this exhilarating time of your life but also a hurt full one;it is because the dreams and the actual reality inter twain...for it is all connected and you again feel scared,worried and have no idea how to play the politics of life...talk about weaving tangled webs
Sem pendura,que a vida ja me foi dura para insistir na companhia

Gargantas e gargulas

People are funny...
For some reason they always seem to think that they're the holders of truth (yours truly inclusive)...there are no shades of truth but there are always 3 versions of it...mine,his/hers and the absolute one.
Still, sometimes, that truth has to take sides.It is not en ought that truth is disambiguation itself.It,sometimes, has to be assertive towards a comum goal...that's when it gets, not bent nor distorted but in accordance to a greater good...that's when you lose, i guess, your innocence and comply with the "man"...
That is when you see that although you are cruising trough this existence you have to comply to a lot of its bullshit so to be part of it...I've seen the other way
E para que continuar na rebeliao quando ela deixa de fazer sentido?Nao e logico fazer-se parte da equacao para poder resolve-la?
O tempo da garganta ja se foi

What to do with a problem like prozac?

back to the ethics problem...it does get to you...and now,not even prozac can help you...you spend the hole day with that long face and just dreading the moment when you get in to the subway and then get to Barons Court...it was halfway trough it...and somehow the 2 hours seemed far lesser and ,paradoxically, far longer!
Now you get them all thinking they are the only ones and the rest of the world just a figment of my imagination...(and still you are far)...
deep down i resent you for being there and not being there, as well i do to them all...a lot of demons!I got to gets me in a meting...

And smile again

I know You are out there

Still...i have faith...

Critique of pure reason

É só no domínio da moral que a razão poderá, legitimamente, manifestar-se em toda sua pujança. A razão teórica tinha necessidade da experiência para não se perder no vácuo da metafísica. A razão prática, isto é, ética, deve ao contrário, ultrapassar, para ser ela própria, tudo que seja sensível ou empírico.
How can people chose to live against one of the fundamental laws of civilization?
I mean...even a murderer looks for empathy on is cause but there are some people that just disregard ethics...these people are just the cause of the world's problems...
I am in a "i hate the worlds" day!

We all need faith

If God had a name,what would it be and would you call it to His face if you're faced with Him and all His glory and if God had a face,how would it look like and would you want to see,if seeing meant that you would had to believe...???
And still things happen...
And we get close

Is there inevitability??

Once the wheels are set on motion,can we not stop it?
Are there no breaks?
I guess you would stop in time if that was to happen!
And still you cant help wanting stuff to be the same.
Eu penso que ha passos que podem ser retificados...mudados nunca porque ja avancamos demais...Independencia do Kosovo?A Uniao Europeia a seguir um rumo de autocracia federada.
E eu a sonhar com os bons velhos tempos...

O dono da chave da casa-de-banho...

Keys to the business???perish the thought!?!Surely not me...or will i?
All and all the time is fast approaching...i will have to decide!Its not that is difficult...is just that once taken that step, there is no going back...a lot to process!But not all is about the money...i know that now and still i wonder...Comfort zone?certo mas uma zona de conforto que eu aprendi a estender...e um passo sem retorno...nao ha retorno...Its like somebody playing the lotery every day until you get rich then losing all your money and then playing the lottery again until you get rich...nao faz sentido...se avancar nao posso recuar!
But you got to admit...this guy really knows how to speak to people...motitional?maybe...psycological?absolutly
And then those retched keys

I will make a lousy invalid

There is no way i want your help...i abhor being treated when sick...i hate the condescending attitude that comes with they're knowledge of me being ill...I cant stand being helped...i do not bear the thought of not being good enough...i AM so screwed...how to overcame this?
I guess that's what marriage is all about...guess that's got be it...i mean...i doesn't work in relationships...no,no,no...on those...you don't even have an ass to shit...let alone being sick...fragile,weak,helpless???
De profundis clamavi ad te Domine

Maninha fez anos

Happy birthday sis...Moms the WORD

where am i right now??

Where speculation is concerned...will we find a theory of everything???Does dark matter exist,and if so, what is it???Will i ever be abble to do more than believe that we aall interconnected?
String theory or strings attached???

On the frying pan...Mr GAY UK

Hey Salome...
There was this couple,yeah(?),on the tube,yeah(?),and they were kissing,yeah(?)...
i didn't felt confortable,either,innit?

Year of the tiger

Nem cabras nem viados...
Nem outros bichos animados...
Sou do ano do tigre

You dont fuck around with the infinite...there is no way you do that...Hell, Heaven???You just dont fuck around with that

Mascaras

Who am i missing so far?
Apart from the obvious ones that always been with me and are no longer of this reallity (at least not as we perceve it),the sense of lost creeps in on me...i do not appreciate such a crumy disgusting way of fealing...i guess no one does, really!
There is this sense of lacking...i just cant get rid of it...
Anyways...pode ser da medicacao...uma vez deixa-me sem dormir e depois deixa-me muito zonzo...vou acostumar...a tontura e a falta...acho...

Mais uma seringada seria

...menos mal que me encontraram a carteira no trabalho...nao pude deixar de pensar, ontem a noite, na injustica das coisas...afinal...o meu aniversario,passado a trabalhar.Certo que houveram coisas boas,nao menos que todas o trabalho que a Marta teve de informar toda a gente, o postal que as meninas me ofereceram,o bolo, as chamadas da Madeira, de Londres, do Brasil e ate dos Estados Unidos...por outro lado...o parvo da mesa 65,e a Ana nem me ter mandado um texto...poder-se-ia entender uma pessoa que quer cortar os lacos romanticos que possam haver entre os dois mas...bolas...ignorar uma data tao importante...nao ha desculpa...e depois a carteira...deixada sabe-se la onde...no trabalho?no cacifo?no metro?na rua?merda...teria de ir ao trabalho,com as injeccoes na bolsa e sair de la a correr para o medico...Questinava a justica das coisas!
E hoje tudo se repoe...a carteira foi encontrada e entregue...no entanto nao posso deixar de pensar...Quais os designios..Porque da situacao?
Quem teria a encontrado? o sr. Sendas?o moco novo?E porque a tinham entregue...Sempre la tinham quase 200 euros...Quem me dera poder ter estado naquela mente quando a encontraram...
Bem...sem divagar mais porque a injeccao vai comecar a fazer o seu efeito...tenho de comer primeiro...ai ai...vai ser uma daquelas noites...bem...o importante e o que diz aquele cartaz no metro...
Next stop...excellent health

Oh the pain...can it be the cold?flipping heck, is frezzing in Londinum...and theres no amount of candles in my birthday cake that can heat it up...34...you would think that i was 64 if you seen me walking today after ten...i dunno what happened...but i wasn't pleasant...still...i figure it has nothing to do with the treatment...falando disso...ja durmo melhor..ate demais...vou-me auto-sabotar amanha...tenho uma entrevista de trabalho mas...quero ficar a dormir...11 horas da manha numa ponta de Londres para uma entrevista com um tio que pensava que eu era brasileiro...hummm...grande hotel??nao quero ser desrespeitoso para os brasileiros mas lembro-me quando fui buscar a Renata...depois de ficar varias horas a sua espera finalmente liguei para a imigracao...eles vieram ca fora e em parcas palavras disseram "sim sim...todos sabemos o que veem ca os cidadaos brasileiros fazer"...talk about stigmatizing...alem disso eu tenho um pouco de fe neste gajo...o Bruno...ele parece realmente interessado que eu saiba os meandros da gerencia...vamos lhe dar um chance...de qualquer das formas e meio complicado...novo trabalho e comecar a por regras...nao posso trabalhar assim ou assado em dia tal ou em tal canal...SOD it...
Mas penso...a medica disse-me que isto podia acontecer...que eu podia comecar a me auto recluir...chama-se depre...hummm
Na mate...quero mesmo e dormir ate mais tarde amanha...vou levar a pica as 2 da tarde...
E hoje...que dia...
Aquela Marta...nunca ninguem fez uma coisa dessas por mim...estava a ficar tao vaidoso...toda a gente sabia do meu aniversario( e eu de nenhum deles)...afinal...desde ontem que anda a mandar txt para os teleles do ppl...e foi-me comprar um cartao e organizou a festa e comprou-me um bolo...nao me cabe um feijao...
Que amiga...que amiga...

Cairam-me 5 fios de cabelo...

Ja se notam coisas mais comuns...as tonturas logo pela manha,mas ke nao ha nada que uma boa correria por entre os agradaveis londrinos (e turistas...milhares deles...raios partam) na maravilhosa Northern e mais fulgurante Picadilly linen nao resolvam...e um estado de perpetua enebriez...so mesmo assim para aguentar com estes caracois...
Tou de bons espiritos...vou comer frango com batata salteada e salada...um rolo para sobremesa um cha maravilhoso para dormir enquanto me embeveco com a televisao e me preparo para mais um dia...mal posso esperar por segunda...mais uma injeccao...ena que sorte...
Tou mesmo aborrecido...
e o pior...e que me cairam 5 fios de cabelo...tambem nao admira...ta sol...mas aiiiiii como faz frio...o cabelo cai porque quer ir para o esgoto...sempre e mais quente la em baixo!

Infinitamente Sexta feira

E o dia parece que nao mais acaba...mais uma noite sem sono, mais um dia resingao...Do you know what it is crossing London from west to east on a Friday night on the tube system?
I wonder how long will this take until IT takes is final toll??
Gonna listen to some music, watch some teletubies and then bed...another day of work awaits mee tomorrow...but...i do love what i do...Damn...is that normal???
oh...by the by...i haven't said a word..wont give u the satisfaction...is it satisfaction?anyways...you might browse trough this blog...gotta stick to my guns...

Quem quer sardinhas?

Que um pouco de raiva me mantenha em sintonia com o universo...afinal nem tudo e azul...ou cor de rosa,por esse lado.Doi a perna,a cabeca parece um poco a quem atirou uma pedra, numa tarde de verao, para se entreter com as ondas assim criadas...perguntaram-me se era como estar enebriado...ehehe...com isso ate eu posso...sensacao esquesita...o pior foi o acordar...juro que ouvi o miar de um gato...por outro lado,abencoado seja...a libido esta a mil a hora...o problema esta em decompensar...nao ha nada e mesmo que houvesse, no momento o receio instalou-se...
de qualquer das formas ainda me posso chamar de sao...palavra que parece facil!Mas sera que o e???
E o gato que nao me saiu da cabeca...ha aqueles que ouvem campainhas...eu oico gatos...e nem uma sardinha para os afugentar

Ring my Dell

What to do when the machines take you to a dark dark place...this sonofbitch makes my trip...do i say i hate DELL computers???
I dont love it, thats for sure...and cant blame it on the efing drugs...theres is no amount of depressing treatments that can top this crapie machine...
Evolution...if this is anything to go by...we are all safe...or dommed...wichever...i mean...it does depend on the way you see things...if the next logical step on evolution is bionic machinerie...then...we are light-millenia away from it,hence, God saves us all...otherwise we evolve but stay basically the same...and computer tech. is no longer a requirement to existence, thus making this stupid brand useless...Personally i hope it's the latter

Passam os dias

Passam os dias...vai o segundo...tudo melhora...mas nesta mare que vai e torna, o solicio encontrou-o em Deus...

Some dates

10/06/2000 Arrived in England
06/11/2006 Stoped Drinking alchool
10/02/2008 Start rivabirin treatment
First shot today at 12...not bad at all...felling ok and stuf...lost 2kg before due to sickeness...Dad was ill had to go to Madeira camed back felt sick on Friday...sod it...it started...its now 5pm...Flu like symptoms...damn...my back hurts, i'm shivering and i still haven't taken the pills!
Can i make it?
Sure thing i can...tell u what...I got a secret that allows me to be at peace with me, myself and i...
And still i lose my temper...
I think thats genetic though.
I will keep me informed...they say i'll get depressed...i neddz to writez...

Hot day in London

Will somebody please tell her that me, my garden, the sun and London miss her so...

A gente ja vos traga

Ta sempre disposto a aprender e vai continuar a aprender e como eu ja lhe disse uma vez a gente ta sempre a aprender...estas as palavras do nosso grande guarda redes Ricardo...os italianos vao ter de aprender como se joga a bola para poderem lutar contra a nossa seleccao

Bear witness to childhood

This is all but a crisis...still...i would love to have some of my own...i guess that what really gets to me is the "demandingness" of what i see s must on my partner...if i continue like this..well then i die alone or unhappy...and isnt this the ultimate experience???Fatherhood???In any case i got my three little pirates here that are a joy to behold...cute??i say more..there are all a iece of what i am inside...

Now would or would this not be a good bath tub...it almost makes you wonder if the salts are already there...thats what you miss in London...

Lovely bath

Ai ke rico banhinho

Madeira by night

The sky's burning??now this is a real melting pot of colours