Friday, 30 May 2008
I miss having a beer...
Not the alchool factor no ,but the gathering of friends talking about nothing and everything and just being happy.Not to the point of getting inebriated but loose enough to forget about political correctness.
Only problem is that seldom did i had those moments...
But it is just like human nature...missing what you never had.
NOT SOBER ANYWAY.
So...i guess i don't miss that beer after all.
I miss friends,though!
Thursday, 29 May 2008
London buses...wait an eternity for one and then 3 come at the same time.
But lets just say that the analogie is more than suitable.
Got to tell you though, i've been talking about a need for change from my part, an integrational wriggle into the slime that it is flattering the established hierarchy, but i do not believe i can do it...
I was standing by the bus shelter tonight and fight broke up.Two alchoolics.If i was to guess, one was 24 the other 41.And all that daze, made up a good entertainment for the spectators.It dawned on me...i managed that,i broke free from the strangling hold it had on me and my will...What can i not do???
Defeatism is not a caracheristic of mine.
But the buses are way to many.
I am just the one.
I cannot take them all.
Got to find mind a better lipstick.
OR JUST FIND OUT WITCH ONE TO KISS
Que fazer?A vida e' mesmo assim...esperamos por um taxi uma eternidade e quando comecamos a andar eis que aparecem 3 ou 4.
Depois de tantos anos no "outro lado", procuramos integracao.
E' viscosa, eu sei, e leva-nos tempo, mas ao pouco, cremos que as coisas funcionam.
O derrotismo nao me caracteriza mas e' certo que preciso de melhores direccoes para encontrar o meu Norte.
E' um processo de aprendizagem!
Mas os taxis vieram todos ao mesmo tempo.
Eu sou apenas um.
Qual devo tomar?
O melhor mesmo e' arranjar um baton melhor.
ESTE NAO ESTA' A ENGANAR NINGUEM
Tuesday, 27 May 2008
Saturday, 24 May 2008
Friday, 23 May 2008
Thursday, 22 May 2008
Why is it that the intensity of the memory of you is so vivid that i feel you never gone? (...and i enrage myself with the thoughts of you being with another...)
How ,in the name of all that is sacred, do i tell myself that i let you slip through my stupid, clumsy fingers?
I dreampt of you again tonight and this has been delightfull painfull...
Damn you, woman, for this curse you cast upon me!
Queen of colours?
MORE LIKE SORCERESS OF BLACK MAGIC
Wednesday, 21 May 2008
Tuesday, 20 May 2008
Guess i ate to much...It´s not belly, though, is the shape of the abdomen...
THE LEGS ARE MINE,THOUGH...THERE'S NO MISTAKING THEM
Acho que comi demais hoje...nao e' barriga...e' a forma do abdomen...
AS PERNAS?ESSAS SAO MINHAS...NAO HA QUE ENGANAR
Monday, 19 May 2008
What a glorious madeirian day this one was...
There was something that got to me, though.
I was in the theatre when over the sudden one of them biting mosquitoes came flying past my ear. My first reaction was to squash him but at good time i stopped.
As a firm believer of interconnectivity i remembered about this guy that was over my place of work the other day.
He tipped me 20 quid and said he was going to South Africa on a shooting safari...
Incredibly, he really meant it. He was going to kill animals...big ones at that. I freaked out (didn’t gave him the 20 pounds though), so he started justifying it was a necessary evil for that the animal's (assume elephants - bastard!!!!) population exceeded the numbers they were seen as a protected species and became a nuissance!Kinda like rabbits , he said.
I am not saying that me not killing that mosquito will somehow restore the balance in the earthling universe but for my part i'll do anything to maintain the idiosyncrasy of those ,that like me, think the world and everything on it is a tool for knowledge and we are only the poorer for exterminating what we do not understand!
Surrounded by sapience the only out is a vast blue wilderness!!
SO WHO WANTS TO BE STUPID?
Saturday, 17 May 2008
I was told that this blog was dark and a bit sad.
Not as it is created but as posts are concerned, which is fair en ought as everyone is entitled to their opinion and this is, in fact, the purpose of its content...to not only tell you about my experiences but also to know of similar ones that can tell me that my path trough life is not a unique one...that those experiences are shared by other people and that they themselves handle it in different ways.
Well that was the point, and sometimes i can take gold dust out of comments left.
My cause is a symbiotic one...share so that learning is possible.
THAT IS WHAT APPEASES MY NEMESIS.
Nao e' so' fado que eu quero transmitir quando aqui escrevo.
E' a relacao simbiotica convosco que pretendo...
Comparem e partilhem as vossas experiencias para que a aprendizagem seja possivel
Isso e' o que apaz a minha nemesis!
Friday, 16 May 2008
What is with me and the constant delusion of displacement?
What is it that makes want and long for a time that i never knew and for chivalrous feelings once so common and now so out of time?
What is it with the obsession of a "D.Quijote de la Mancha" character fighting against wind mills for his fair lady?
Why is it that i constantly look for ones that i cannot have and do not want me rather than the ones that i know are good for me?
Is it the idea that without blood,sweat and tears nothing is worth the while?
I mean, i always did look for a challenge, but you get to be older and you expect things to change somewhat...
Shall i call it perseverance or just plain old stupidity?
The fact is THAT I LOVE IT.
Vou de moinho a moinho batendo os meus monstros que me afastam de Dulcineia!
Sofro, mas uma dor que me e' querida!
Que raio se passa comigo?Isto com a idade devia dissipar-se mas o facto e' que me parece que nada e va'lido sem sangue,suor e la'grimas.
Quero aquilo que nao posso ou que nao me quer e desdenho o que e' certo, o porto de abrigo.
E' perseveranca ou estupidez?
Nem arrisco palpite,mas sei que ADORO SER ASSIM!
Wednesday, 14 May 2008
Its not often that you'll see me shutting up, or not writing down anything.
Some times, it seems, it works out better to procrastinate thought so that anticipation and excitement don't take over and then, and again, ruin everything.
I shall Know what to say to you tomorrow...
Right now I VONT TO BE ALONE
Tuesday, 13 May 2008
Turns out that i knew this...
I have stagnated!There is nothing else to learn and what i want to learn is being withheld from me.
Guess is time to move on...
I FEEL LIKE A CRIPPLE RIDING A BIKE
O cerebro contrai-se, mirra, encolhe-se com a estagnacao...
Ja' nada ha' a aprender e aquilho que quero aprender nao me e' ensinado...por outra, e'-me ocultada...
Sinto-me como um aleijado montado numa bicicleta
E' TEMPO DE MUDAR
Monday, 12 May 2008
Interesting fact about me today...
Jealousy...don't seem to have it so much.Always thought it was a good thing.Turns out it isn't.But then again i should i be jealous?Wont that kill a relationship,all that mistrust all that suspicion...might as well break up...
I understand the idea behind it,though. Everybody wants to be felt as wanted...but does that mean that i have to possessive?
Hummm...a bit divided here...damned if i am damned if i wont.
But if you do open up the precedent, then that ugly monster comes back out...and it took me so long to make it go away.
Yeah...but then again...it turns out that you are then left to yourself...break up is, it seems, inevitable
Feia mascara, a do ciume...
Mas ao que parece tem de ser quantificado.Inexistente e' impossivel, mas quando assenta arraiais mina as fundacoes de uma relacao. A desconfianca instala-se e a suspeicao e' a regra!
Contudo, parece que ha' que o mostrar-se, perentoriamente, que se o nutre por a outra pessoa.Ela sente-se mais segura, mais querida...
Mas nao se o pode exteriorizar demasiado sob o risco de parecermos machistas e de, eventualmente, afastarmos o objecto amado.
Preso por ter cao e enjaulado por nao o ter.
Parece-me ,enfim, que o relacionamento esta' de inicio condenado.
Grande expectativas, pois sim.
Vou ter de pensar arduamente sobre este ponto
Friday, 9 May 2008
Thursday, 8 May 2008
We start, then, with nothing, pure zero. But this is not the nothing of negation. For not means other than, and other is merely a synonym of the ordinal numeral second. As such it implies a first; while the present pure zero is prior to every first. The nothing of negation is the nothing of death, which comes second to, or after, everything. But this pure zero is the nothing of not having been born. There is no individual thing, no compulsion, outward nor inward, no law. It is the germinal nothing, in which the whole universe is involved or foreshadowed. As such, it is absolutely undefined and unlimited possibility -- boundless possibility. There is no compulsion and no law. It is boundless freedom.
Charles S. Peirce, "Logic of Events"
So what i do is NOTHING...
Nada e' zero e incerto porque ha' que haver um tudo para haver nada...entao nada e' algo e deixa de ser nada...como e' absolutamente indefenido entao nada e' possibilidades ilimitada.
E' vivo e morto ao mesmo tempo.
Entao a resposta ta' em nada, porque nada e' liberdade sem fronteiras.
Entao nao vou fazer mais NADA
Tuesday, 6 May 2008
Monday, 5 May 2008
Saturday, 3 May 2008
It lingered in my senses all day...
And now i go to rest, but unrest is what consumes me.
I'll dream of your boosom tonight, i'll shake off the dreadiness of not have you and conjure up universes were we'd be togheter.
AND THAT PERFUME HAUNTS ME NOW
Thursday, 1 May 2008
Teamwork is the co-operative effort by a group of people to achieve a common goal.
How can you work as a team, then, when the common goal is each own?
I believe in empathy...i believe in the good intrinsically in all mankind.
For we are one and all, undoubtedly, and connected, linked to each other.
There is no detachment, for you will eventually have to restore universal balance.
Free will not determinism,though.
We are not puppets but puppeteers in our path in this reality!
We wonder WHERE and WHO and WHY we are when we should be looking further afield to the biggest question of all...
HOW can we serve?
It is the way of the world to follow the dark enlightness of self-interest rather than ethic of reciprocity.
It is not the way of humanity.
If only souls would reflect their brightness...maybe this would be a more candide existence.
At the very least...
Stop taking it out on your colleagues when you're upset with the boss.
Trabalho de equipa?
As coisas so assim acontecem quando a franqueza e a empatia regem a existencia.
O optimismo e' glorioso...mas a fe' aos poucos dissipa-se.Nao na criacao mas no SER,no ENTE criado.E' triste quando assim acontece mas porque se esta' chateado com o patrao nao e de bom tom descontar nos colegas...
A isso nao se chama trabalho de equipa!!!