Its not that i have been bad or anything...i just dont seem to understand why can i not the lack of empathie between me and everybody else...i mean...i look at you and i can visualize me living who you are and for some reason it seems there is something fundamentaly dislikeble about me...i would almost say ,that sometimes, your disling of me brings the strenght...NOT

It 's not that i am crying inside or anything...for crying out loud there is not one depressing yiota on my all being...but there is the thing about being loved and hated, at the same time, that once and a while pisses me off.

And the sublime irony of not wanting and over the sudden overtaken by wanting to be wanted feelings...man...this is mean...then again...it might just be winter coming.