Sunday, 30 August 2009

Still abstaining

Still abstaining
Life has these screwed up situations, doesn't it? I now i worry.
I've always loved the romantics, the quest for the girl, the chivalry code, the game...
It has been my constant downfall where relationships are concerned. I don't like them easy, they bore me. So i live constantly in love.
These last 3 years though have been complicated.
I have stepped back and decided that women were generally my problem and that i was never in a healthy situation, back this last one takes the load.
The worst thing is that i am absolutely in love with this girl.But couldn't really change much.So..she's 7 months pregnant and dated a big friend of mine.
Well, on and off, anyways.We went out and things happened.I thought time would mend this, but it turns out it made it worst.I can't forget her feet, her nose her smile.Then i've spoken to him today and he knows it now.I felt so sorry for him and felt so devasted by what he said that i did the only thing that i could do if i was anybody else.I wrote her a text saying that i could no longer see her or speak to her.
I am dead inside.It hurts so much, but i know it's the only thing to do.How fair is life?
Fuck this crap.
So i'll endure celibacy for a while longer and learn from this.
My blog is my memory.And my sentence.
I hate not being able to be with her.Fuck the rules.
And still i'm chained to them.

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