ALARM COCKS

Waking up in this town is not easy.
It's all too good to be true.

What becomes of the broken hearted?

Christmas with the family

Presents all opened all food all eaten...
Now lay back and watch some teli...

Lockets

I know, i know, it has nothing to do with it...But just the way they scream yupiii you would think it was a celebration.And less than 24 hours for me to be home for Christmas presents and all...i just feel like screaming yupppiiiiiiiiiiii
Listen to it...
It's fantastic...

Sit on it...

Phallic seats and constant pain.It ain't all that when you go for the office bikes.
Shall we try, then, the secluded ones that we know to be assertive ?
I should be a change...or isn't it really one?
JANUARY WILL COME AND CURIOSITY WILL BE SATISFIED.
ONE WAY OR ANOTHER...

TREES AND POSTERS

Still not very christmassy feeling, really.

But i am  3 days away from home.

anger management

I hate the unpleasantness of people.I don't dislike it and i don't ignore it.
I H-A-T-E IT...
and it is getting to me.It's got be this treatment.It's bordering unmanageable.
Courage...there is only 8 more weeks to go.Two of them are Christmas.
I guess i can hate them a bit longer

the tinker

Ok...i shouldn't really but can't fight the urge to comment about this person.He is a person like many others that i meet and one of the biggest causes of my self reclusion from the world. The sad thing is that, one day, this person is going to be in charge of something.

So much for common sense.

So he is a free newspaper distributor that is studying business admin. and doing a bachelor's degree.

He is obviously very smart and intensely cultural and ,of course, he has a favorite part of the newspaper that mirrors that thirst for knowledge.The horoscope.After that he spends the rest of the time doing Sudoku because...and wait for it...

IT'S A  BRAIN GAME!!!

Fuck me, you can't buy this shit...

DAMN

Arghhhhhhh...i'm so grumpy i can't even stand myself...gimme some holidays....fast

Embarrassment

Embarrassed about a silly comment made today...
A derogative, bigot, racist, and above all steriotipical comment that i much regret having done so.
It is well beneath me to do such remarks.
I need penitence. These are, it seems, no longer mistakes but patterns of conduct.
I have to be introspective and see where is this coming from.
NOT EVEN WORTH PUTTING COLOUR ONTO THESE COMMENTS.

London does it big

The last time i woke up this early, i was in the army.
Regardless of the pain that it was, it was,after all, worth it.
Today's no different.I walked London and i walked it good.But i enjoyed every minute of it.Cold as a freezer, tourists all over the place, grey sky's, money flying away, MacDonald's as a meal (twice) and i still love this city.
What's not to love ,really?

Christmas Shopping

7 A.M.
Heading for Oxford Circus...
Wish me luck.

Candy shop...ORGANIC

I am so spaced out.
My head buzzes and spins and i don't seem to be able to concentrate.I'm hungry but full stomach, awake but dreaming and i am not even in love.Come to think of it...when was it the last time that i so was?

WASH AND GO

Gonna go and have a bath...maybe like that i can heat up...this has been a cold year so far...

STICKS OR STONES????

I'm not over it.
I do not seem to be able to do it.Everything in me is a self sabotage voyage.I am narcissistic, pessimistic and no matter how hard i try i tend to want back all that i never wanted to begin with.
In that aspect my roar is not even a whisper.I am not a lion.
I AM A STICK MAN...
Feeble has they come it seems.

SEE YOU ON SUNDAY

I believe in right to die...
But that disgrace that happened last night with pretence of informing us about the choice of a former university professor that decided to die rather than live his life as a vegetable, does nothing to change people's mind about such controversy.
The wife decided to put it out there in order to gather sympathizer to the "right to die" cause. Nonsense.How is it that transmitting the death of her husband on TV help her and others cause? At the very least is trivializing the issue.
Obviously only cucko right wingers decrepit false pretend humane people will say it was absolutely right to do so.
I'll tell you what...i am so upset that i will talk about this again on Sunday...
RESEARCH IS NECESSARY.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

I have no quarrels with this guy.
I am not upset with him, i am not trying to frame him nor am i trying to get dividends out of my actions mainly because that's just not me...
SO WHY THE HELL DID I TELL ON HIM???
I went through this voyage and i have changed but my principles should not become general ones. If i wanted to spread the word i would be a preacher, so it stands to reason that i could give a monkeys ass for what other people do as long as it doesn't interfere with me.
And it didn't.
SO WHY THE HELL DID I TELL ON HIM???
This just makes no sense and i am scared of myself.
I do not tell on people, i just don't do that...
SO WHY THE HELL DID I TELL ON HIM???

COME AND GET IT

But only for my nieces and nephew...
NOT FOR YOU ANYMORE....

I'M DREAMING OF A ............. XMAS

My first wiff off pine tree last night.

Now, it's beggining to look a lot like Christmas!!!

Prawn pasta and idolatry of the week's last day

Like always, there is pasta with tiger prawns, sun-dried tomato ,a call home, a shot on the stomach, a sense of relieve and the hope that something change.
Yep...you guessed it...Lady Sunday has arrived and devoted to her as i am i will continue with my licking her boots so that she remains longer...
AND THE NEW WEEK WON'T START!

SNOW WHITE????

It is all about the voyage, the discovery, the knowing what is not known to realize that it's only suck because one, then, knows as one has experienced both states.

Having said that, the way you conduct yourself will always have repercussions in what/who ever is left behind, so selfish attitudes have no room else that you provide some sort of cushion to dampen the consequences of you actions.

I may be mistaken but regardless of the fact that this person, that i don't even know and by chance works in the same company as i do, has died or not of a drugs overdose, the fact remains that her life choices were directly responsible for her dire outcome.

Having people collect money for the transport back to her own country doesn't strike me as fair mainly because the pressure is on you, that have been there and done that.

I do feel for her family but i cannot ever respect a person like that.I do not condemn her, but i have no respect for her neither.

So...should i contribute to the expenses as a sign of respect towards her memory, one of a person that could have been but is no longer, as she deemed fit to do so? Or should my actions reflect the profound disgust that i have for a person that imposed herself on others?

I haven't met her...for all i know , she could be a darling person.

Still, it doesn't hide the ultimate fact.

But i guess her folks don't need the aggro on top of the pain.

So contribute i will.

I, never the less, want to remind myself  that i'll do so under protest.

NEFERTITI

Colour, beauty, contrast, weird looking shoes, lust, urine , tamed, slave...
I blame that wretched, infernal woman.
GET OUT OF MY HEAD...please???

SAD MORNING

Sad news when waking up...
Desertinha has died.
It was a 20 year's old seal from Madeira island...
A protected species and a story of success.After hunting them almost to extinction madeirians now protect them and with 50 wild animals is one of the few colonies in the world that has grown.Sadly one of it's more emblematic members has passed away.
I wanted to express my sorrow and unfortunately, in this country, it's not going to be talked. I put my thoughts out there then, in the hope that it soothes the pain.

HOUSE OF THE FLYING DAGGERS

It is ever so easy to misconstrued words.
Take this girl standing accused of murder, for instance.
She once said she "would murder for a pizza".
Well who of us has never been there...particularly after a few dubies?Now it seems that is coming back to haunt her.Sure she might be guilty and she definitely looks the part but...that expression is so often used that there's nothing to it...and even if there is, nobody should read anything on it.Sadly they do and it seems that the most explosive people are the ones often mentioned. It doesn't matter the context in witch it was used, is the connotation somebody that dislikes you gives it.
On my part...they just words.
On somebody else's a way to frame you.

Testing... one,two,three... testing

These free days are great...they leave you nothing to talk about but still you comment about them regardless.
Only thing of notice...i have finished my project and am quite happy about it...final touch here and there but it's just polish.
And it's quite good if i might say so myself.
What i didn't know was that i was actually good in maths.
I've got to reassess my priorities.
New year, please come fast.

CAPTAINS LOG STARDATE 20081201

on the matter of the eternal fight of good against evil...
WHO WOULD WIN THIS BATTLE, THEN?

GREEN GROCER

Words???No words...
enough said



Palavras para que???
Ta tudo dito

GONE

A cock and bull story

No matter what i do there seems to, invariably, be something in the middle that does not permit me to get to the nevralgic point of the situation that i am trying to handle.Hence, i tend to have to negotiate my position, although i really shouldn't.
BUT I AM A LOUSY HAGGLER.
NO BARGAINS FOR ME, EVER

NOSEY

I've tried everything...
And my right nostril is still congested....
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

still looking

No goddesses for me though...

BARNARDOS

This is probably one of the most shocking videos i have ever seen.

http://www.barnardos.org.uk/what_we_do/children_in_trouble_campaign/children_in_trouble_online_ads/break_the_cycle.htm

Este e', talvez, o mais chocante video que alguma vez eu vi.

HATE

in such a mood, i really should avoid aggressive environments...
But music...oh...the music...got to waste energy somewhere...dissipate it.
I'm hitting the walls.

AWKWARD

FUCK...I'M DEPRESSED

SATURDAY NIGHT FEVER

Spent the night alone, then.Can you guess what hurts?

Passei a noite sozinho entao...adivinhem onde doi.

THE WALL

It is for me that i do these things.
It is so that i conclude rather than dwell on them.
It is not that i am selfish is that am i coherent on what is suppose to be done and the "laissez-faire" attitude is never in demand.
Take everything seriously so that you can relax when faced with all the variables.
Set the world free, set it soul free, let it inquire about and philosophy over existence without creating barriers because you don't think your grass is as green as your neighbours.
TEAR DOWN THE WALL.
AND DON'T KEEP NONE OF IT AS A MEMENTO!

REVOLUTION COMPADRES

Regardless of what you do, the upper hand seems to be always with the one that holds the institutionalized power.
It sucks but the fact the matter is it all goes like that Clash's song:
"I FOUGHT THE LAW AND THE LAW WON".
I'll persevere,though.It seems small battles can be won.

A MINUTES SILENCE

I wanted to comment on baby P.
But that would mean me doing politics...
AND I DON'T DO POLITICS,right?
The expression of my opinion will be conditioned to whatever judgement i currently have about the all situation.
That is why is such a good thing trials take that long regardless of the fact a person admitted their own guilt.
A period of reflection and of cool is then demandatory.
Till then dear baby
R.I.P.

SUMMER TIME and the living is easy...

Crazy country...
Freezing outside and still you can buy these.
THAT'S GLOBAL WARMING FOR YOU

CURIOUS GEORGE

It is not ,nor has it ever been, that i am complicated.Is that i am curious.You cannot expect to unveil tiny things and expect me to settle with it.I don't do that.I need more, i need to know.
That is my purpose in life.That is what makes me happy.That is the nature of me being.That is my very soul.
And that i've to content myself with crumbs given is not what i consider to be a good thing for me.
One can reason that i let myself down not taking full advantage of school.I don't quite see it that way.I've been through journeys of learning that i've to be found most academic.There are other things that dangle on my inquisitive mind.
SO DON'T EXPECT ME TO STOP ASKING WHY??
IT FILLS ME UP INSIDE.

IN VINO VERITAS...in my case any old excuse will do

Even lions don't say all what they think, in whichever situation they are in, or, for that matter, any state of mind they are in.
Why do i find it hard to measure my words?
Another week gone by and i still lock horns.
If only i could not be so passionate...
(it has been a low week!!!)

YES I KNOW, THANK YOU VERY MUCH...

Studying, observing...
Not just the human condition but the whole of it's soul...
So it really shouldn't come as a surprise it's reactions.Granted it varies a bit from one to another but the basics are almost similar.There are unwritten rules that are obeyed although not conscientiously.
What freaks me out is the fact that knowing this, i still react exactly like the majority.It's knowing whats wrong,but willingly pursuing that course.
ITS CALLED STUPIDITY.
NOT DEPRESSION.

STILL WATERS

How would you people think that i wouldn't know?
How is it possible that having a complicated life is still not enough for you that you find a need to talk about others?
And if that wasn't enough you still make a fool of yourselves and you don't know it...
Man alive, you are good enough for this group!

MAD ABOUT THE...BOY???

I've done me shame. Above all i disbelieve myself on why i was so forth willing to divulge ungentlemanly comments about a girl.It was not because i was absolutely crazy about another one, i was just because i am that mean. Well maybe people where mistaken, i am not God's gift to women. Do i believe that? HARDLY.

I won't let the sun go down on me...

Was, as always, on countdown...
Still i know that the more eager i am, the longer it seems to take.
E=MC2
Why do i realize it and still persist with the exasperating stubbornness of wanting time to go as fast as i think it?
Arghh...it's human nature, it's human weakness.
I NEED REPROGRAMMING,PLEASE

RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE

Muddy and difficult paths i have to walk in order to get to where the sun constantly shines.
At the moment is this apprentiship.I am doing all i can to avoid it but i know i have got to finish it and rap it up, in order to go to other things.
Why does boredoom consumes me if i can't convey my message.I should be looking for other ways to do it.
Meanwhile, i join the system.
I DON'T WANT TO BEAT IT.
I JUST WANT IT TO WORK!

DALAI LAMA

Improve the patient requires someone who made us poorly and will allow us to practice tolerance says the Dalai Lama...
Obviously this man is a far better equipped one than me, to endure the absurdities of the world.Sure i don't want all to be perfect as i then would understand the concept of perfection but i am really not able to endure constant incompetence and failure without major repercussions on my state of mind.And negative ones at that.
HOWEVER DO I MANAGE?
I know how i used to but really don't wanna go there no more...




Aprimorar a paciência requer alguém que nos faça mal e nos permita praticar a tolerância diz o Dalai Lama...
E' obvio que este homem esta' superiormente equipado para lutar contra as vicissitudes do dia a dia no oceano de estupidez e fracasso que eu nado diariamente, sem que ,com isso, se reduzo 'a lastima que e' o ser-se vencido pela impaciencia.
COMO E' QUE EU HEI-DE GERIR ESTA SITUACAO?
Eu sei como o fazia antes, mas nao e' um lugar que eu deseje voltar a ver...

TEACHER, TEACHER, CAN YOU TEACH ME

I've learned something today...
I'll tell you all about it later.

Take two of these...

A few friends of mine have been facing break ups.
Some were married, some have been contemplating it, some have just been together for a long time.
Obviously they are all suffering.The degree of suffering, i bet, is the same.It's more of a problem the "how to" handle it.
I mean, we've all been there and we all faced the same feelings particularly ,on relationships that have been long, never mind who breaks it up ,the pain is the same.
I do not miss the pain...Hell no.
But i sure's hell miss having the choice.
It's kinda hard when you are single, thou!

Chili con Carne at night

photo by Andrea Gamba

i'm sick to my stomach

STAND UP AND BE COUNTED

So here's the thing.
You travel from on A to Z stopping in every single station in-between.Half way trough it there's this older person coming in.Now you're faced with a dilemma.Should you get up and give up your seat regardless of the fact that you are going to spend the rest of your trip standing up and fighting for an inch of breathing space, even thou that person could be off on the next station, or do you continue sitting down and pretend nothing is happening?
The choice is conditioned from the start and you are always going to be biased because if you do give up your seat you will regret it in two seconds (for that is not a person that desperately needs it) and the longer you stay seated the longer you feel disturbed.
The person is imposing on you, innocently, even if she doesn't know it.
I contend that on the London underground system is dog eat dog.
This is a city where millions use the public transportation so although good manners are never lost, chivalry on the morning or evening rush hour,is dead and buried.
SO PLEASE,STAND UP AND DON'T LOOK AT ME!!




A coisa e' a seguinte.
Nao e' que o cavalheiro em mim esteja morto.As boas maneira nunca ocupam espaco.Afinal "noblesse oblige" e, nos, os Abreu dos Santos somos assim(!!).Mas debato-me com a pressao de ceder o meu lugar ,no metro cheio, a esta senhora de meia-idade.Nao sei se saira na proxima estacao, ou seguira' curso ate' ao final como eu.O facto e' que ja' se impos em mim, inadvertidamente ou nao.
A minha contencao, e' , pois, que no sistema de metro ,sobrecarregado, londrino, e' um mundo de cao e como tal o cavalheirismo esta' morto e enterrado.
ASSIM SENDO, FACAM O FAVOR DE CONTINUAR DE PE' !!

Nature's Lullaby

It has been a autumnal day.
There's no sadness involved, but melancholics.
And it so invites to sleep.

familiar sight

SOCRATES???

Perfection is overrated...
and yet i seek it, for my own personal harmony.

COGITO, ERGO SUM

What are the odds of finding true love in the world,says this observer???